Or so it seems my 16-month old son, Alex is saying by offering it to me with his outstretched hand. He's not too verbal yet.
In those brief respites between the seemingly monotonous day-to-day tasks of kid-wrangling, I find myself in awe of getting a firsthand glimpse of what we are like before the heaviness of life sets in. Dr. Amy Johnson in her book "Being Human" describes this as our "default factory settings." She quotes the Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu, who explains why children are such wonderful teachers of what is innate when he described the “first elements” that underlie all of human life:
“You want the first elements?
The infant has them.
Free from care, unaware of self,
He acts without reflection,
Stays where he is put,
Does not know why,
Does not figure things out,
Just goes along with them,
Is part of the current.
These are the first elements!"
I think at this point in my life, I can relate the most to "Does not figure things out." Alex doesn't need to be self-conscious yet. He doesn't think about his thinking. If he's mad, he cries about it and then moves on with his day. Sometimes not as quickly as his dad and I would like, but he does move on. A lot more quickly than us grown-ups do when trying to pick out an outfit, figure out what to have for lunch, worry about what we said to our spouse, coworker, boss, refrigerator repairman, OMG-do-I-really-sound-like-that-on-the-phone, etc. etc.
So for now, I'll just learn and enjoy the moment of Alex pre-emptively twirling as soon as he sees Elsa and Anna on the TV screen, because he ain't worried what you think of his dance moves. I'll revel in Catherine (just turning 4, still at the sweet spot but slowing forming her sense of self) telling me that last night "I dreamed of how much I love you, Mommy." And just say "no thank you" to Alex's half-eaten cookie, while smiling at how sweet it is that his natural programming prompted him to even offer it to me in the first place. Because at that moment, it was all that he knew he could offer.
*Reprinted by permission of the author,
Dr. Amy Johnson (www.DrAmyJohnson.com).
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